All Work And No Play
On my way home the other day, I met with a former colleague of mine and although we didn’t talk that much while at work due to the fact that she was “my boss” we were so excited to see each other. (I actually think absence makes the heart grow fonder). Having worked in a call center, there were at least 100 people you would have wanted to find out how they are doing. The conversation was full of laughter as we reminisced about the life in a call center.
In between the conversation, I confessed to her the way I miss my former place of work. At first she could not understand why I said that. I went on to explain I miss the lively, energetic atmosphere of the former work place (certainly not the pressure or the bosses or the high targets that were set). I told her I miss working in teams, the competition, the office politics (read gossip), the team buildings etc.
You see one of the challenges of working as a freelancer is most of the time you are just working alone in a room, you only interact with people on social media through chats or forums and that’s it! You never have time for a social life. You become addicted to your work and staring at your laptop. Most of the time you take more than you can handle and it becomes a routine.
I decided to start an office because I had an “itch”. The daily routine was getting to me. Waking up, switching on your computer, check mail, go to the bathroom, prepare breakfast, sit in front of your computer taking tea while downloading work, start work, look for leftovers to eat for lunch while working, take some time to prepare dinner, eat dinner while working then go to sleep. That is the typical routine of a full-time freelancer and some do it for seven days straight (or at least I did).
Before I came to learn of the importance of taking time off and doing other activities, I had sat in front of my computer for almost a year with very little time spent on socializing. Last year I decided to try to do just that. I even went as far as going to Tanzania for a week for vacation and it did wonders! You come back so ready to work again and full of energy. So at least I am learning slowly. Like for example writing this blog post, I just decided I will take time and put my thoughts down here! The saying “All work and no play make Jack a dull boy” should be a freelancer’s anthem!
My “No” Means “Yes”
When I started working as a freelancer, I never thought it go this far. I always thought this was something I would do briefly and then get employment in a large organization. Working for a company meant you didn’t care where the money came from, you just want to be paid and be paid on time. And there was always the clubbing every weekend with colleagues. I can comfortably say clubbing was what I always looked forward to every Friday and Saturday then.
Freelancing was a necessary evil to me. I never actually knew I would stop being a party animal and turn to “drinking responsibly” all because tomorrow I had some deadline to meet.”Oh well, I can always go on drinking sprees at another time,” is something I have said for the past two years. I think everyone should try doing some type of work that will shift their mindset in ways they never thought would be possible, its all about chasing the $$$.
On the other hand, I think I am just growing old. I have seen a couple of white hairs on my head (time to go dye my hair!). But I think running the whole freelance thing, managing freelancers and employers has made me more mature. I have been accused of being modest since I quickly brush aside the fact that I am actually running a business and have employees. Maybe I always think I will wake up one day and find it was all a dream.
Trying to balance my work and play is a hurdle I am yet to know how to tackle. The fact that I find it hard to say “no” to employers is what is holding me. At times I just want to say, “sorry but weekends I am not available,” but when I think of how much I would miss out on, I end up saying, “I’ll do it!” And there goes my weekend!
I can easily compare my workaholic nature with the allure of a “bad boy”. As much as the “bad boy” will cheat on you, insult you or even destroy your self esteem, it is hard to say NO! You always go back. All it only takes one look into their eyes and you become weak. That is what my work does to me!
Lights, Camera, Action…..Smile The Society is Watching
The pressure is all on women, “if your marriage fails, you have failed!” That is what the society has put women through for a number of years now. As I sat and listened to the morning radio show about a woman who cannot leave his husband because of what the “society” will think left a bitter taste in my mouth. Is it worth it?
It took me to back to a conversation I was having with one of my girlfriends who was married and whom I thought was in one of those marriages that any woman would love to have. She confided to me that she is not happy which took me by surprise definitely. As far as I knew she and her hubby had those types of rare happy marriages that are almost non-existent today. She told me she has to keep up with appearances as society expects her to.
When you compare husbands and wives, if a husband is unhappy, all they do is stay out late or get into extra marital affairs popularly known as mpango wa kando. As for wives, they have to continue smiling through heartaches in all the chama meetings they attend, when they have family get togethers or just meeting friends. You see women have this stupid notion that they have to appear to be better or at least at the same level with the women around her. And they are just lying to each other because most of them are in unhappy unions. They live in web of lies and end up being unhappy for many years!
I would call this an addiction because just like drugs or cigarettes, you know they are bad yet you cannot resist it. Many women are addicted to their bad marriages. They will use all sorts of excuses from, “I am there for the children,” “where do I go?” Yet you will find they have jobs and can be able to afford to take care of themselves plus their children.
Like they say, the first step to recovery from an addiction is to accept! Accept you are unhappy and try to solve this problem before it gets out of hand and you are filled with hatred to a point of even plotting on ways to kill your husband. For sure if there is heaven and hell we now know where most wives will go!
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